You are having multiples — what are you going to do about money?

Finding out you are going to have multiples can create many anxieties.

There are feelings related to the pregnancy itself — joy, expectation, and apprehension.

They will be compounded by worries about babies’ health — you will be informed by doctors early on about the risks of multiple pregnancies and premature birth complications.

And on top of it all, the financial worry can be overwhelming. How much money will we need? What will it cost to raise multiples? How will you be able to support a big family?

My difficult pregnancy with our triplets fell at the time of the great financial crisis of 2008. Talk about timing! Stocks were crashing, companies were going bankrupt, and the news anchors with unsmiling faces were talking about job losses and recession.

We already had one child and were expanding to four in a few months.

With the world financial crisis in the background, we had to focus on surviving the next few years.

How did we do it?

Consciously or not, we followed the advice of the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. — Reinhold Niebuhr

The recession was among the things we could not change.

It was happening, whether we were freaking out or not. In a way, expecting triplets took our minds off many other things including the stock market turbulence. There is only so much space in your head for all the worries!

We focused on things we could change.

Review family finances and start budgeting

Yes, spreadsheets and numbers are necessary. Your expenses change drastically, your income may take a significant dip when taking paternity leaves, and you may need to move.

It’s all about a good system and discipline:

• Start budgeting and financial forecasting immediately, if you weren’t in the habit before. Later, you may be too busy.
• If you are not used to discussing finances, learn. No advisor will be as invested in your financial survival as you.
• Create a system you can follow, and then follow it. You need it for many years to come. After diapers, there will be activities, summer camps, braces, and college applications.

Reassess employment

The decision on whether both partners will continue working after the birth of multiples will vary from family to family. It will depend on many factors:

• Your career and whether you like your job.
• Whether you have extended family to help you.
• The impact of a second income on your financial survival.
• Childcare availability and affordability.
• Babies’ health and any issues you need to deal with in the first few months.

It will, of course, depend on the country you live in.

In Canada, we have good job protection for the duration of maternity leave. It gave me the opportunity to stay home with my triplets for a year knowing that my job will be waiting for me.

If you are in the same position, it means you can postpone your career decision until later, which can be a big relief.

In our case, I went back to work after my maternity leave. We are first-generation immigrants without any extended family to fall back on in case of hard times. We could only rely on ourselves and needed two incomes.

For someone else, it might mean a decision for one partner to stay at home. In either case, make this decision based on good information and analysis of all options.

Research how to save money

We both came from frugal backgrounds, but as I discovered, there is no limit to thriftiness.

As I went on bedrest at five months pregnant, I spent most of my time reading and making notes. I read about thrifty living, money-saving strategies, and making things at home instead of buying them.

This is when I discovered The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn which opened my eyes to a whole new level of thriftiness I didn’t even know existed.

While I didn’t follow all of Amy’s advice (it is a thick, hefty book), it taught me a few important lessons:

• Being creative can save you a lot of money.
• Frugality starts with getting your priorities straight.
• Reusing and recycling things is not just about saving money, it’s about caring for the environment.

The manufacturing of most goods harms the environment in one way or another. The culprit is not the factory, but it is we who buy what it produces. Therefore we should think carefully about items we purchase. — Amy Dacyczyn

Change your mindset about money

Focusing on making money can overtake our lives to the point of forgetting what do we live for.

When you have to live on less, you have a choice to change your attitude — or be miserable.

My guide on this particular journey was another book, Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin.

If you haven’t read it — give it a chance.

The key is remembering that anything you buy and don’t use, anything you throw away, anything you consume and don’t enjoy is money down the drain, wasting your life energy and wasting the finite resources of the planet. ― Vicki Robin, Your Money or Your Life

Accept help

Our friends were a huge support to us during these early years.

They collected and passed on to us paraphernalia of baby things and equipment, so we had to buy much less for the first couple of years.

They sent us gifts of diaper boxes and banana bread and checked on us regularly.

They organized extra cribs, car seats, and strollers.

They rallied when we needed help with moving to our new place.

A volunteer came by once a week to help for a couple of hours. While it was only a couple of hours, it was such a needed relief.

We accepted all the help with gratitude — every little bit was welcome.

Know that you can do it

Yes, those first few years were endlessly exhausting and money-pinching. We didn’t go out and didn’t travel.

Yet here we are, fourteen years later, working, travelling, and even occasionally going out again.

I will tell you more about how we did it, and will be happy to hear about your experience!